They say when you take revenge against another you lose a part of your innocence.
But I’m not innocent.
I haven’t been for a very long time.
My innocence was stolen from me. Taken was the life I was supposed to have. The soul I was born with. The ruby heart embedded in a life full of hopes and dreams.
I never even had a choice.
I mourn that life. Mourn the what-ifs.
I’m ready to take back what was always meant to be mine.
But every plan has a fatal flaw. Sometimes it’s the heart.
This is another one of those times where I honestly don’t know how to rate a book. I could be a bitch and rate it 2 stars because I didn’t really enjoy it, or I could be lazy and just rate it 5 stars because I thought it was brilliantly written and ignore the other not-so-pleasant feelings running through my head. But I’m not going to do either – I’ll just write what I thought & felt and you can decide if this is the kind of book you want to read.
This book blurb seriously is so freaking vague!! And the reviews are so freaking vague!! I can definitely see why it’s completely necessary to go in blind, but I think there are some things worth mentioning – none of these are spoilers, just general information that’ll help give you an idea of what the book is about.– I have to stress this point first – NO WAY is this a romance! The book completely revolves around Nina’s character, so there really is no “couple” or “hero.” There are three men whose lives are closely entwined with hers: Bennett (her husband), Pike (her foster brother), and Declan (someone very important she meets). I’ll explain more about each later. Any kind of love that does appear in this book isn’t meant to romanticize the story; it’s there to prove an ugly point.– When Nina was five years old, she had someone very precious taken away from her, and as a result was thrown into the foster care system. She finally ends up in Carl and Bobbie’s house (her longtime foster parents) and it’s there she meets the other foster kid, Pike. He’s the quintessential bad boy and when the going gets tough (especially with bastard guardians like Carl and Bobbie) he’s there for her. Anyways, Nina and Pike are forever fucked up because of their foster parents. That’s all I’m going to say about it.– Nina’s married to Bennett BUT she hates his guts. You’ll find out later how Bennett was indirectly responsible for why Nina had to go through the foster care system.– Nina’s out for revenge against Bennett and she meets Declan, the perfect someone to carry out her vengeance plan. Only, she doesn’t expect to actually feel something for this guy. She’s torn – revenge for her past or pursue a possible love for her future?
I didn’t enjoy this book one bit. I felt completely miserable. I will concede that it is brilliantly written and it must’ve taken a lot out of the author to write what she did – I mean how could she keep track of it all?? However, I hated the female lead – she didn’t have a single redeeming quality. Her reasoning for the revenge? It is COMPLETELY wacked up – she’s targeting the wrong guy! But I suppose part of the reason this book is considered to be such a mindfuck is because she genuinely believes that Bennett is the antagonist.Anyways, you should know that I’m not the kind of reader who thinks that if an author stirs any kind of emotion – love, hate, confusion, etc… – it’s a sign that he/she succeeded and I should rate the book 5 stars for making me feel. No. What if a book makes me feel sick to my stomach and I think there’s nothing redeeming about the character(s)? That’s not positive at all and quite frankly, a 4 or 5 star rating doesn’t reflect those thoughts. I was constantly wavering between:A) Obtain a physical copy so I can burn the bookB) Hug the book tight because you don’t come across this kind of story every dayThe only part of the book I can say that I was truly, utterly impressed with was the ending – I saw it as both a cliffhanger and closure. It ends in a way where I’m not really sure if Nina will be making an appearance in the next book, but regardless of that matter, I feel strangely liberated, like I’m glad this one giant rollercoaster ride came to an end. Much like the characters in this story, I’m constantly jumping from love to hate when it comes to my feelings for this book. Will I be on the lookout for book 2? Well…when a book ends the way it did here, you just kinda have to read the next one.